Who is an Asian?

It took me several years to realise that when an Australian refers to "Asian" he or she in general means Chinese or Vietnamese or perhaps Koreans – you know, basically the yellow race.

I had been under the impression that "Asians" embrace the peoples of the Far East - eg Chinese, Koreans and Japanese, South-East Asia - eg. Thais, Indonesians, Filipinos, Malaysians, etc, Indian sub-continent - eg. Bangladeshis, northern and southern Indians, Pakistanis, Sri Lankans, Nepalis, Central Asia - eg. Afghans, Iranians, etc – that is, from yellow to brown to black to brown again, covering the broad expanse of the Asian continent.

No wonder sometimes when I heard over the radio, such and such a petrol station was robbed by a bloke of "Asian" appearance, I thought to myself why the police couldn't be a bit more precise - like stating the suspect was Chinese, Indian, Indon or Filipino, because when mentioning western suspects, the Police would describe them as of Mediterranean appearance or a Northern European or an East European.

I was mistaken - the Police had been specific all along - they meant a bloke who looks like a Chinese or Vietnamese or Korean.

An Aussie friend insisted on classifying me as a Malay-Chinese. Would his description have made me safe from the Police scrutiny of a suspect with "Asian" appearance?

His ethnic classification of me went on for a while, especially when he introduced me to people, until I decided he needed some education. So, after much explanation, I finally told him I am a Chinese Malaysian. He smiled and apologised, saying "Sorry, I wasn't aware you are a Chinese-Malay". Ah well, sometimes you have to throw in the towel. I left it at that before he confused me.

But to Aussies, Japanese are always Japanese and never Asians. The mighty 'Yen' can do wonders to put the people of Nippon in a special category of their own.

Besides, Aussies are acutely aware it's the Japanese who kill and eat whale meat, and even make whale-burgers. Yes, we hope the Aussies bear in mind that "Asians" - as defined by average Aussies - don't take cetacean meals, though we do eat dogs and cats and rats, sometimes monkeys and snakes, and the odd kangaroo that our cars knocked down. ;-)

As to be expected, for Aussies, Indons are Indons too. I guess the average Aussie is so suspicious or sh*t scared of the Indons that he forces himself to know them all too well, or so he thinks. Why are they sh*t scared of their northern neighbours? It's an unfounded fear that had metamorphosed from the original 'yellow peril' (whom the Aussies discovered to their surprise were more interested in making money elsewhere) to the 'brown peril' just across the Timor Sea.

On the other hand, the popularity of Bali as a holiday resort for most Aussies, while reposing on the golden sands of Bali Hai for a couple of sunshine weeks, would provide adequate time for intensive anthropometrical and physiognomical studies of the average Indons. How a congenial environment with cheap beer can do wonders for the Aussie familiarising himself with beautiful looking Balinese.

To be continued with "Does an Asian eat Asian food at home?"